Merry Christmas from Judah

Ever changing

We have a 6 month old! What? How did that happen? Judah weighs just over 17 pounds, which means he's doubled his birth weight, right on time.

Let me tell you, the amount of new things is crazy...maybe I'm not blogging enough? He's crawling, he can sit up on his own, he is pulling up on things, he is eating, he's talking constantly, he can hold his own bottle (kinda), he is climbing, and he has his first tooth - whew!

Now for the breakdown:

Crawling: He started army crawling a long time ago but right before Thanksgiving he actually got up on his hands and knees and crawled. It's so cute, he still working on it so he face plants quite a bit. But he's trying. This means he gets around even faster than before, it also means we've had to install the baby gates and the outlet covers. And that his poor little knees are taking a beating.

Sitting Up: This started a few weeks ago with this adorable side lean which made him look like he was chillin' out, maxin' relaxin' all cool (Fresh Prince style). Then he starting "sitting" with his legs straight out and his upper body laying out across them. Then, and Brett saw this several times before Judah would show me, he sat up! He's pleased with himself too, he'll clasp his little hands and smile at us.

The thing about the sitting up though is that he's still not super stable and so sometimes he tips sideways or backwards. So confession: Judah likes to play peek-a-boo with towels. We were playing and he was sitting up but he laughed and fell backwards and bonked his head super hard. He started sobbing and I started sobbing and Brett came over and was holding us both and laughing. But seriously...I feel like crap because I keep dropping my kid on his head! (Remember the couch incident?) Ugh...I'm afraid this is only the beginning of injuries...although Brett assures me, this is life with a boy.

Pulling Up/Climbing: He will grab things and stand his legs up and then try to pull his body up. He got to the stairs last week and Brett and I watched as he pulled up on it, stood his legs up and then pulled forward and tried to pull his leg up onto the first stair. This kid won't listen to reason that he is much too young to be doing this stuff. He will pull up on anything that is taller than him so we have to keep watch because he's unstable and falls back too. But check this cute little guy out:

Eating: He's been interested in food for awhile, they (whoever "they" is) suggest starting foods at six months. His six month birthday was on Thanksgiving, which we thought was perfect. He's not so sure about eating yet, but we're working on it.

A few other things. Judah has this delightful assortment of baby toys: plastic rings, baby keys, a rubber elephant, a multitude of stuffed creatures, things that make noise, things that are brightly colored...so why is it that babies don't want to play with baby toys? You know what he wants to play with? Paper bags, hangers, chords, cell phones, remotes, my hair, the fireplace, the stairs, bowling balls, plastic bottles, paper, plastic bags, hoodie strings, etc. SIGH*

Also, our previously delightful sleeper has taken to acting as though we are torturing him when we put him to bed...this includes (but is not limited to) screaming himself hoarse, pleading with us in pathetic pouts, looking super cute, standing up in the crib, and throwing his paci out of the crib. The picture below happened when Brett was trying to put him to bed, what a cute little prisoner. He's exhausted but for whatever reason does not want to sleep right now. Naps are this way too. Within this he has taken up this super delightful (sarcasm) high pitched screech. Oh my goodness...it's only been a few days but I'm ready to be done with this phase.

All in all, we just remain delighted at this little person. He is such a blessing to us. We are looking forward to celebrating our first Christmas with him next week.

Merry Christmas to all of you!

I get to be a mommy

Holding my baby boy and looking into his eyes, it would be easy to forget the pain of years of uncertainty, inability to get pregnant, a miscarriage, and general frustration. But it's important to me that I remember that pain. I need to remember that there are people out there who are still struggling, who are frustrated, who are heart broken. It's important to me that I recognize the amazing blessing it is just to be a mommy, because not everyone gets that chance.

Last week I had lunch with a friend and we talked about how not enough people talk about the negative/painful/frustrating side of child bearing, and it's so common.

Even within my small circle of friends there is a couple who lost a full term baby (complications during the birth), a couple who can't have kids, multiple miscarriages (in multiple couples) and a couple whose child has a chronic illness. And that's just several families. There are so many things that can go wrong at so many junctures just trying to bring a kid into this world. And once that kid is here, holy cow...there are so many more things that can happen, so many opportunities for heartbreak.

Here's my point...I get to be a mommy. What a rare blessing!

Sure, I puked at least once (and sometimes more) every day I was pregnant. I had major heartburn (no wonder - that baby was hairy). And I felt like a whale. But I get to be a mommy.

Yeah, the birthing process was rough, and there are body parts which are just never coming back from that. But I get to be a mommy.

I never get more than (at best) 5 hours of sleep in a row. I have been pooped on, peed on, and puked on numerous times. Judah drools like a champ, and while playing I often get spit on my arm, face, clothing, and occasionally in my mouth. My house is never as clean as I want it to be, my work is never as done as I want it to be, and I am never as put together as I would hope to be. I have scratches on my face, my neck, my arms and my chest from his tiny razor nails and I  have lost so much hair to those tiny hands...

BUT, I get to be a mommy. I get to be a mommy...

Maybe it's good that it took us so long to get pregnant...because I know what a rare blessing it is. Every single day I thank God for my Judah and for the time I get with him - no matter what that means. I get to be a mommy, I get to have this beautiful boy in my life. Thank you, God, what a blessing. I pray that I never forget what a gift this baby boy is. There are so many people who can't have children or who have lost children, and I get to be a mommy.

Washcloth...my only friend

We now have a five month old, man the time is flying! Judah is growing and changing every day. He is getting bigger and he is engaging with us more and more. He gives us kisses now (with a lot of slobber as well), and is figuring out how to get around. He can't quite do the normal hands and knees crawl, but he can move across the floor with amazing speed. He is also teething, which means he doesn't always love life but still...he's such a pleasant little guy.

His new things is that he likes to be to chewing on something at all times. He really likes blankets: to chew on, to throw around, to put over his face. And it's especially while he's going to sleep...but we're not comfortable leaving a blanket in the crib with him. (Side note: he does wear a sleep sac/wearable blanket so he's not cold...also, why don't they make those things for adults!?Am I right?)

So anyway, he loves the blankets while he's getting to sleep, so what we've done is give him a washcloth for those purposes. He can chew on it, throw it around and put it over his face without the concern of suffocating under it.

Well last night I fed him and he was restless but it was bed time so as the doctor has suggested, we left him to self-sooth for a few minutes and he quieted down pretty quickly. Later, when we went up to bed, we checked on him and there he was...hugging washcloth like it was his only friend.

I've got to be honest, it was both the cutest and the saddest thing. He's just so adorable in their hugging his little washcloth, but it also made me feel like the worst parent ever. All he wanted was a little company and I left him in there alone with a washcloth. Argh...the heartbreak of parenthood.

This past few weeks Brett was in Vegas, so I got a lot of Mommy-Judah time. We've got such a sweet little guy, I truly thank God everyday for this blessing. Even when I'm tired, I can't help but be happy when I'm around this sweet little face.

4 month update

Oh my, sorry it's been so long since I have written, it's been a busy few weeks and Brett's been gone some.

A few weeks ago our family came by for Milo's dedication. Ash and Jennie came early with Milo, who is Judah's cousin and is 8 months old. They had such a fun time together, it's so fun to have boys that will be the same age through the years. They shared their toys, took some pictures together and got to know each other better. While they were here cousin Milo crawled for the first time! It was so great to have been able to experience that with the New's!
 

Judah is now four months old! My goodness, how fast life is going. He is 15lbs 7oz., about 50th percentile for his age, and he is 99th percentile of height! He's so tall he's already wearing 6-9 month sleepers although his waist is so small he can still wear newborn pants (although they're way too short).

He's just such a delightful baby, he really is so pleasant. He smiles and laughs all the time. He loves mommy and daddy and is responding well to both of us. He will look for us when he hears one of us talking (which is frustrating when Brett talks and he's nursing). He is trying new sounds, one of which is a high pitched screech (that's delightful :/), but it's fun. He's responding to us and talking to us all the time. He also likes the baby in the mirror, but sometimes he gets upset when he sees mommy holding that other baby.

Judah has started playing in the bath - kicking and punching at the water. He loves to watch it splash. He is so happy in the tub, he doesn't even mind it when we wash his face! Our Judah Bug also loves his new saucer play station (thanks Fields') and his jumper (thanks Kaiser's). He's learning and exploring all the time, he's able to grab stuff on purpose and with both hands. He is starting to enjoy having us read to him (he used to cry and cry when I would try).

A few not so great things:

I had the horrific experience of "my-baby-rolled-off-the-couch" this week. I can't begin to tell you how horrible I feel, oh man. I set him on the couch (which he had been doing well) to lay out his play mat and heard a thunk. I turned around and he was looking at me...so betrayed. Then he starting wailing - like WAILING. Well of course I started sobbing as well. I was convinced I had hurt him beyond repair. I called the doctor's emergency line and after a few questions they determined he was fine but I should keep an eye on him. He didn't even get a bump, but I felt like crap.

Our poor little Judah had his first cold this week too. He was so pathetic and sad, it was hard to watch him just be sick. His little nose was all stuffy. But we did all the things you're supposed to and he's better now.

Every day is something new and it's really delightful. We just love being parents.

Asleep...on his face

Before we get to the Judah update...let's get real. I've said it before and I'll say it again, being a mom is not easy. Last night/early this morning I had a major breakdown.

As you know, Judah has started rolling. Well this week he took it to a whole new level with the rolling. All he ever wants to do is roll, although it's pretty much only in one direction. Sometimes he likes it, but sometimes when he gets on his tummy he gets frustrated. For the last two nights he has started rolling in his sleep. He rolls to one side of the crib and starts screaming because he's stuck. So he's not getting much sleep and guess what? Neither am I.

Well, last night was particularly bad. He wouldn't go down, because he kept rolling over and when he was on his tummy he was mad. Brett and I took turns trying to calm him down enough to sleep before we went to bed. Then he only slept for short periods of time. I nursed him every 1.5 to 2 hours since that seemed to calm him down enough to sleep (he's been going for much longer periods of time at night). 

Well after I fed him once again at 5:30 he absolutely wouldn't be calm. He wasn't awake really, but he wouldn't stop rolling and when he was on his tummy he was mad. But he fought me when I tried to turn him over to his back.

Well, after trying to turn him with no luck I started pleading with him a little (as if pleading with a 3 month old can work)...and then I started crying...and then I started sobbing. At this point it's a little past 6am. I'm not sure if he was mad at not being able to roll or if he was responding to my tears, but he started crying and then he started screaming. At this point Brett heard him screaming and ran in to find me sobbing over the crib. He moved me out of the way to check on Judah and I fell to the ground in hysterics.

...True confessions of a tired mom, I was a mess. This mom stuff is hard. Thank God for Brett, he is such a blessing. He took the baby downstairs, made sure he was ok, and then came up to comfort me (I was still crying hysterically - the kind where you get hiccups and can't breathe - and going off about how I was a bad mom). Needless to say, I slept for several hours and woke up to a healthy and happy little baby. Sigh*

So...today we practiced at nap time with letting him flip over and stay asleep. He did alright and tonight he flipped over and we let him calm himself while keeping a close eye on him. I know everyone says once they can roll they are safe on their tummy but *seriously* how do you not freak out when your baby is sleeping on his face!?

Also, sometimes his sleeve gets caught while he is rolling, this is how we found him yesterday:

Besides the rolling, a few other updates: Judah can now hold things intentionally which is fun. He can play with his toys and he keeps getting a grasp of his feet and this is one of his new favorite positions:

 He also loves...and I mean LOVES being in the carrier with daddy. He will happily hang out for hours in that thing.

He is drooling like a champ, he talks constantly, he continues to love bath time and he loves to dance. He is still smiling and laughing all the time, in fact he has taken to pausing every few minutes while nursing to coo and laugh at me, this kid is a happy little guy! He is a gift!

3 months already!

First, a response to my previous post: just FYI, as distraught as I am about jeans shopping, I want to be clear that I would not trade Judah for the best body in the world. Just thought I should spell that out and now...an update on Judah:

This week he turned three months old! How time flies. He is 14 lbs 6 oz. He doesn't seem that much bigger to me, but he's growing out of outfits almost weekly and I've noticed that when I'm nursing him my arm is getting tired because his head is so heavy (read: big).

He is making all sorts of talking sounds and trying out his voice. He talks and squeals and responds to us. He also giggles and cackles, especially when Brett makes funny noises or tickles him. One of our favorite things is when he smiles so big that he loses his paci, which happens frequently. He thinks we are really funny and he'll grin or laugh and the pacifier just falls out of his mouth.

Last Thursday we had an awesome experience. Judah rolled over (!!) from his back to his front, which really startled him and then he face-planted. Later, while we were doing tummy time, he rolled from his front to his back. He repeated that front to back roll several times during the day including when we were face-timing Grandma and Grandpa (Brett's parents) and then later when we were face-timing Nana and Papa (Shannon's parents)! Our little guy is developing and growing  up so fast!

Time is going  by so quickly, we are trying to enjoy every moment and every stage.  

Buying jeans...oh the horror

So, when you have a baby your body changes. I hope this doesn't come as a shock to anyone, it's the truth. I won't go into all the gory details, but here's an obvious one: when you have a baby you gain weight. Even though I was healthier during this pregnancy than any other time in my life, I still gained a significant amount of weight.  And no, not just the weight of the baby. He weighed 8lb 2oz at birth, did I look like I had only gained 8 pounds!? I don't think so (just as a reminder here's a picture from 5 days before he was born):

Yup, more than 8 pounds...at any rate...when the baby is born you lose some of that weight (uh...duh). Nursing helps you lose some more. But your body has taken on some weight to protect the baby and your tummy is all stretched out from holding that baby in there for so long and your hormones have been all crazy. So anyway, the first month I lost a majority of that weight but since then no more will come off.

So here's the dilemma, most of my regular clothes don't fit me and maternity clothes look ridiculous on me, so I am confined to wearing the few outfits that I have left that don't make me look like I'm a sausage trying to squeeze into the casing. This means one pair of jeans, about 7 tops and a few maxi dresses.

The one pair of jeans that fits me are starting to look a little raggedy considering how often they are getting worn and washed, so when we were at the mall today I decided it was time to get a new pair of jeans.

You know where this is headed...

Let me back up though, under normal circumstances I hate trying things on...especially jeans. Were jeans designed to make me feel inferior (too short, too wide, too hippy, too much thigh, too much crack, etc.)? Do dressing room mirrors add twenty pounds!? That's how I already feel about this, and these are not normal circumstances, it's much worse.

So back to today, after being distraught about the choices: skinny, ultra skinny, stretch, jeggings, acid wash (is this the 80's?), high waisted, pre-torn (ummm...I'm paying good money for these), ridiculous back pocket bling - I found  few normal looking pairs to try on.

Let me be clear - when you already hate trying on jeans and are within a few months of giving birth and are hormonal and are living on less sleep than is good for you...do not, I repeat DO NOT expose yourself to this kind of torture. End of story.

Long story, short...the result was me bawling my eyes out on Brett's shoulder on a bench at the mall. Yup, it's come to that. What a day. What an experience. Learn from me ladies, save yourself the heartache.

Needless to say, no jeans were purchased.

Our happy bug

Status: 12 weeks old, 13lbs 7 oz, 25.5 inches.

The doctor told us Judah is right at 50th percentile in weight and 99th percentile in height. We could have probably guessed about that because we've noticed at home that if his outfits fit his body they are way too short and if they fit his length he's swimming in them. He's a tall boy.

Last week Brett and I were talking and Brett was holding Judah. Brett and I started laughing and Judah laughed in response to us. He loves to smile and laugh and does it all the time. He's a happy little guy. He responds really well to both of us. He talks back to me all the time when I talk, we have long conversations. He loves to sit in Brett's lap and they play on his play mat.

Judah is discovering his hands and feet (by putting them in his mouth) and learning how to roll. He loves baths and his play mat. His best friend is zebra and Judah tells him everything.

Since his first week we've called him "Judah Bug." Sometimes now it's just "bug," which is a cute nickname for now but he probably won't like it later! We feel so blessed to have this little guy. We are figuring out how to work with him with us, it's a matter of taking turns and working at odd hours (and when the baby is sleeping). We already can't imagine life without him. We're in love. 

Maternity Leave Status: Over

This week I went back to work: I preached for the first time in two months, I visited in the hospital, I had three meetings, I returned two months worth of emails, etc...I worked hard, and it was rough.

I have heard so many different times from so many different mom's that it was hard to go back, and I totally agree with this assessment. I have never in my life wanted to be a stay at home mom, but these last two months didn't seem nearly long enough. I just got to the point where I felt like I was getting the hang of being a mom and now I have to be a working mom.

Now, I am aware of the fact that I have a good situation: I can work from home or bring Judah to the church and Brett (for the most part) works from home. Those things are a blessing. I will try to keep in my mind that as well as the others blessings that we have, because this stage is not an easy one: I'm not getting nearly enough sleep, he still demands a lot of attention not just when nursing but all of the time, Brett is travelling a lot this season...but in the midst of that there are amazing things.

For all the extra demands, what makes it worth it are moments like these: last night when he was nursing he stopped and looked directly into my eyes and smiled. Then he talked to me, in his cooing way, and smiled at me and giggled for almost a full five minutes.  He held eye contact, he responded to me. It was beautiful...no, more than that...but it's unexplainable, and I cried (of course I did) because in moments like these nothing else matters. Not the poopy diapers, or late night feedings, not the lack of sleep or working around having another person depend on you...none of those minor frustrations matter - because what an amazing thing it is to be loved by your child.  Thank you, God, what an amazing thing.

So I am back to work and yes it is hard, but I wouldn't trade it. And we'll figure this out, in time.



PS. Here's a picture of Judah and Papa, my little baby is growing and growing. This week he is 13lb 6oz and he's already two months old! He is discovering his hands and feet and he loves his mobile.

Changing all the time...

It's amazing to me how quickly things change with babies. Every day there is something new.

Physically, Judah is growing like a weed: the last four weeks he has gained 10oz, 15oz, 10oz, 12oz (in that order). He now weighs 11lb 5oz, and he is also so tall! We've had to  adjust his car seat straps twice already and he's only 6 weeks old! He's moved out of newborn stuff and into 0-3 month clothing.

He's also becoming very aware.  He's awake more now (and not just sleeping or eating). He looks around a ton and tries to figure stuff out, he loves to look out the car window when we're driving. In the past week he has started following Brett's voice and watching us intently.  It's so nice to feel like this little person is equally as interested in you as you are in him.

Another thing this week is that he has started smiling! There were a few times when we thought perhaps he was smiling but since Saturday we've got picture proof.  His brows are so expressive and it's so great to see the smile and not just the terrified or skeptical looks that we'd been getting.

It's so exciting to watch him grow! 

Another new thing this week, Brett put Judah down in his crib for a few minutes to run downstairs, when he came back and Judah was asleep and peaceful. We hadn't thought about transferring him from the bassinet by our bed to the crib in his room this early but he seems to like it! The last four nights he has slept in his crib, quite happily. In fact, last night we put him to bed after eating and he cooed happily for an hour before drifting off! He looks so little in there:

The good, the bad and the ugly

There are things no one tells you about pregnancy, the birth process and new parenthood. The reason for this (I now understand) is two-fold: first, because it is impossible to share it all and second, because there are some things you just have to experience.

There are some things I can share though:

1) Pregnancy was hard but people are right, you totally forget about all of the crap when they place that little baby on you and you look into his eyes for the first time: it's just amazing. You forget the sickness of the first few months, you forget about food aversions and peeing ten times in the middle of the night, you forget the uncomfortable feeling of having feet in your ribs, you forget about waddling around, you forget about the swollen ankles and fingers and you just stare amazed at this life you have created (as Brett says, "This is what our love created!") Amazing, truly amazing.

2) The birthing process is ROUGH and in my case people were not right, this I will not forget or get over. It was traumatic (physically and emotionally), I will not go into details but let me tell you, it's honestly the hardest thing I've ever done (also, let me just say, get an epidural...always get the epidural). But it does not end at birth...labor is rough, the birth is rougher and the recovery is the roughest.  I'm still recovering after over a month...and it's not even close to over yet. I am not exaggerating...this process (for me) was the worst. I know this is not the case for everyone, but it does happen. If you are a pregnant lady and want to talk about this, feel free to contact me and I'll share.

3) I am now in the mommy zone, I (like many mothers before me) think my baby is the cutest and the sweetest and the smartest baby.  I want to share pictures of him all the time. I want to talk about the cuteness and the faces he makes and really just everything about him all the time. I totally get it now, but that's why I have this blog.

4) Crazy pregnancy hormones flow immediately into crazy postpartum hormones. I truly could not stop crying the first few days, sometimes almost hyperventilating. That has slowed down at this point but even still, for me, it's a lot of crying that's happening. I have been told by many people that this is normal. I sure hope so because I feel crazy.

5) Breastfeeding is hard but totally worth it. Besides the obvious benefits for baby of breast milk, the bonding time that I get with baby is beautiful and even though I sometimes get overwhelmed because of how much he needs to eat and how I feel like a milk jug, I would not trade the time for anything.

These are just a few of my insights...more to come.

Settling into our new life

We have been home for two weeks (I spent a lot of time in the hospital for some complications) and we are settling into our new life as a three-part family. It's not easy, but it's wonderful.

One of my dear friends told me this when I was feeling anxious about being a mom and having a kid a few months ago: "Your job, your one job the first few months: keep baby alive." She told me, "don't make yourself crazy...keep baby alive." I didn't realize how much I would need this bit of advice.

Everything seems overwhelming right now, and everything seems to be too much, and my emotions are crazy, and I don't know how I'm going to work as well as have a kid, and Judah wants to eat all the time, and I'm not getting enough sleep, and I don't know how to fix it when he cries...

And then I remind myself to calm down: keep baby alive. That I can do...he's fed, he's warm, he's loved. Baby is alive, so even if he's crying, it's probably ok. Even if I'm crying, it's probably ok. It is overwhelming, but it will be ok. I'm trying to remind myself of that, some days I have to remind myself more often.  

Keep baby alive, love baby, feed baby: this is my job right now, and it's full time. This is why it's imperative that people take time from work when they have a baby - it's not a vacation or a break (what a laugh), it's necessary. And I'm doing it, of course with the help of my amazing husband Brett. So really, we're doing it, and we're settling into our roles.

I mostly am just a source of food right now, I have trouble even comforting Judah because he can smell that I'm the momma. But I love that time we get together, I pray for him or sing to him or read books to him, sometimes I just talk to him. It's something I already know I'm going to miss, I treasure every minute of it.

Sometimes in the middle of the night Judah doesn't want to go back to sleep after he eats, so Brett gets his time with baby - he says he loves that time because that's his time with Judah. Brett takes Judah into the nursery to rock him and let me get some sleep.

Today I introduced Judah to the greatness that is the Beatles. He loved it (of course), we danced and I sang to him with John, Paul, George and Ringo in the background for half an hour until he was lulled into a beautiful Beatles induced slumber. Train up a child, right?

So...we're figuring out how to take turns, who does what, and how to live in this new life.  I honestly don't know how people do this without support. I feel so blessed with an amazing husband and an amazing family.

Here is a glimpse into the cuteness that I get to experience: the bond of daddy and son.

Monumental: Had a Baby!

We welcomed Judah Mitchell Spangler into the world on May 27, 2014 at 8:13pm. 

Judah was 5 days early, but right on time for us. We are delighted to be parents, although it is still a bit surreal to say that we have a kid! 

His name: We wanted to have an Old Testament name, we had a long list that we pared down over the months and finally got down to two names: Levi and Judah. As we got closer and closer to his due date we both separately decided that Judah was the name. Judah means "praised." His middle name is in honor of my Uncle Mitch - an amazing man who has been a huge part of our life. 

His weight: He was born at 8lb 2oz, a little smaller than estimated, proof that sonograms aren't perfect (thank goodness!). I was so concerned about having a monster baby and he's the cutest little thing! And of course, he lost weight as all babies do, but is back up to birth weight this week.

His demeanor: He is a funny little guy who is always looking either terrified or skeptical, this is highly amusing to us. He's also always impossibly cute. He seems to be a pretty content little guy: he likes the outdoors, rocking in his swing and staring out the window.  He sometimes enjoys it when you sing to him, and of course he like eating ;)   

Our little man is an amazing gift from God. We wanted him so badly and tried for so long and we are so delighted to have had this opportunity/experience to get pregnant and to be pregnant...and now we look forward to the experience of being a family. Brett and I love being a couple and the life that we have...please continue to pray for us as we figure out life that is totally different now, and awesome in a different way.  We love this little guy more than we can explain and are delighted to now be a family of three. 

Want to keep up with Judah and our family? Stay tuned right here! 

Argh!

Today we are in the single digits...9 days till due date! Holy COW!

I don't have a lot to say, so let me just put this:
* Our check lists are done...we are as ready as we can be
* My heartburn is out of control
* My feet and ankles are so swollen I have to have ice packs and many pillows under them at the end of every day - cankles are real people
* I am going to miss feeling him move around when I'm resting at night
* I'm so ready to know who this person is that has been living with me

That is all for now...

Swollen and Ready

We are now a mere 12 days from our estimated due date. Things are getting crazy! Here's what I look like: 

We went to the doctor Monday and baby boy is estimated at 8lb 9oz already! This is a big boy, this also means that all of those cute newborn clothes are not going to fit our mammoth baby (they go up to 8lb). I have started having swelling in my hands and feet, I had to take off my wedding rings because they were cutting into my finger and bruising it. I feel a little weird being out with no rings on after 9 years! Also, I can only wear flip flops, which do NOT look cute with every outfit in case you were wondering. 

So, I need to confess...I have to retract my statement about wanting baby boy to stay put until the due date. It just happened Sunday but I am ready for this boy to come out. It's hard to walk, hard to drive, hard to sit, hard to sleep...so it's time. I know I said he could stay in until June 1, but let's go baby...anytime now would be good. 

Vanity, vanity...I wanted to look nice for all of the picture taking that is going to be happening because of this major life event so I went tonight to get a haircut.  Let me be clear with you, don't do something like that this close to a major life event. Just don't. Not only was it the weirdest longest haircut of my life (1 hour 20 minutes! and not at a beauty school) but it is the second worst haircut of my life (the worst one was from a beauty school incidentally). Truly. I'm not sure how this guy has a license. I got in the car and sobbed all the way home. So now I look horrible for my baby boy's appearance into the world. I know it sounds really minor and petty, but I'm actually terribly sad about this.

Of course, then I get home and get a call from Brett reminding me just how blessed we are. He's such a good partner, I am truly grateful for him in my life, always keeping things in perspective. I'm still sad about my hair but ultimately in the big scheme of things, life is great, and Brett offered to buy me a beanie and I'll just wear a beanie like the baby. That may honestly be the best option...

Amazing Things

We are down to 18 days...holy cow! In some ways I feel like it's been forever since those first few months where I felt so very very sick, in other ways I feel shocked at how quickly we've gotten here. No matter if he's early, on time or late we will be a family of three within the month. Honestly it feels so surreal, I know that this active little guy in my belly is real but I also feel completely unable to process that he is going to be living at our house soon (and not in me).

We've been getting ready for the better part of a year now, doing little things here and there and more recently taking care of pretty big things but we are finally ready (well as ready as we can be!). Tonight we added a little flourish above his crib: 

"We'll bring a child into this world, we'll say one thing everyone should hear: you were meant for amazing things," it's a lyric from one of Brett's favorite bands Sleeping at Last in their song "Umbrellas." We want to encourage our little guy, we believe that God created each one of us for a purpose. What will his be? We can't wait to find out...(and now I'm crying again!)  

We can't wait to meet you little boy...

The Shannon Whale

We are now at 36 and a half weeks...and here's the thing:

I feel like a whale. It happened all of a sudden but I feel big, I look big, people tell me I'm big (because they think I might NOT be aware?) and...AND I gained three pounds this week.  I've been moving fairly slowly as far as weight gain goes over the pregnancy but I'm at that stage where you have to go to the doctor every week and from last Monday to this Monday I gained 3 pounds! WHAT!? Oh my goodness, I feel big.

And maternity clothes are not meant for people in their last month, I'm convinced. They fit me fine after the belly grew but now my maternity dresses are too short, my maternity pants won't stay up (saggy butt syndrome), and my maternity shirts are riding up. This just encourages my feelings of whaley-ness (it's a word, don't judge). So I have taken to wearing XL T-shirts at home that are comfy but just add to my feelings of whale despair. Sigh*

And baby boy is big too, last week they estimated him at about 7 pounds, ALREADY 7 pounds, how large is this kid going to be at 40 weeks? He's not only large, he's also very active, maybe he's just trying to get comfy? But baby boy is so very active, Brett will just sit by me and watch my belly move around at night. This boy moves constantly! It's a pretty amazing thing really. Brett will say, "he's going crazy!" and I'm like, "Nope, that's my life right now." He's a mover and shaker!

Here is a picture from the last sonogram (last week).  He is facing the camera 3/4 and the upper left is his hand on his cheek:

Body Parts

I am now at 35 weeks, coming down to the wire...last week we started our weekly doctors appointments where they check to see how things are progressing. I asked her if there is any way to keep that little boy in until June 1 because I am a control freak and have very specific plans.  She laughed and said, "No matter what people tell you, there's no way to speed them up or slow them down.  Babies come when they are good and ready." So it's time to start wagers on when he's coming!

Over the last few weeks the baby has grown quite a bit and I can finally distinguish body parts that are moving my tummy constantly (this boy is ACTIVE). It is bizarre to know that the thing sticking out of the side of your tummy is a foot, I had that experience last week. I can identify body parts...how weird!? And yet, how amazing.  I definitely cried, who's surprised? I think Brett is better at figuring out what things are though, my sense of knee vs. foot is off sometimes.

Brett and I went to a movie the other night, we've been dying to go but I was so nervous about being uncomfortable, but we went anyway.  Baby boy was not a fan of the noise - he seriously was agitated the whole time, squirming around and kicking me (legitimately it was a loud movie - Captain America). But between that, how many times I had to use the restroom and how uncomfortable it was to just sit there...we'll not be going to a movie again until after he's born, but it was a nice date!

And now I'm getting big to the point that I feel awkward and tubby.  I didn't know that was a stage. For awhile you have to keep it secret, and then you WANT a belly so that people will know, and then you have this sweet spot where you're definitely pregnant and people can tell and it's cute and fun, and then you get so big you feel gross and you look dumb in pictures and people are like "woah, you're big." I'm at that last stage...and I know it's only going to get worse over the next 5 weeks. Sigh*

Side note: I know this post is all over the place, but it's been awhile since I posted so there's a lot going on. So here's picture to break the wordy-ness:

We've also been getting everything prepared in the house: washing baby stuff, rearranging (closets, cupboards, etc.), putting together baby items and furniture (ok that one's all Brett), and purging our stuff to make room.  It's been fun and we're close to ready.

It's very surreal at this point, I mean we have all this stuff and I can feel him moving in my tummy and I KNOW that we are having a baby....but the thought of another person living in our house soon is surreal. And this isn't just any person, it's our person...who is he going to be? I'm so excited to meet him! And one of the things that makes it more real is that I think we've finally settled on a name (don't bother asking, we won't tell you), which is fun.  Although if he comes out and looks like a Melchizedek or Abednego or something, we're willing to change it.

Ok, enough info for today...whew! Two doctors appointments this week and 34 days to go!!

Psalm 139:13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.

Our Big Baby Boy

We are at 32 weeks, coming down to the end! We went to the doctor this morning and baby boy is doing well, he's just the cutest little guy: on the sonogram he was moving around and we saw him yawn. What a miracle! He's still bigger than average but whereas last time we got a measurement he was in the 78th percentile, now he is in the 61st percentile...a little relief for me. They measured him at 4 lb 13 oz.

I have felt his kicks now for awhile but he is now head down and when he moves he mostly rolling around trying to get cozy...and he moves constantly! No need for this momma to do kick counts, our baby boy is a mover and shaker. There are times when we can feel a leg or his little butt sticking out, awesome stuff. 

We wanted to give a special thanks to all of you who made this past weekend so special. We had two showers in Indiana. We feel tremendously blessed by each one of you and are so thankful for your part in our lives. We know baby boy is going to be so loved!

This is a picture of me, my sister Jennie (and Milo), and my sister Jennifer (and Natania and AJ). My heart is full:

Baby bump

The baby bump is an interesting thing: it's both great, strange and in the way.  Last week at my appointment my doctor told me I have the "perfect pregnant belly." I'm not sure what that means but since she see's a lot of them, I'm going to go ahead and be proud.  And here are a few pictures:

Picture: Baby Spangler

One of the things we have had to do is to go and meet with a high risk doctor, just to keep track of a small concern (nothing to worry about). What's amazing about these visits is that we get a 3D sonogram, I know this is not something most people get and we feel really lucky to have this.  This is a picture of our boy from a few weeks ago (facing right, this is his face):

We think he's beautiful! 

As we were getting ready to go from this appointment, the doctor chuckled and told us how much the baby weighed. We said "isn't that a lot?" And he replied, "Oh yeah, he's a big boy." This along with the child birth classes have sufficiently caused me to be a little horrified about the actual birthing process. But I have been reassured many times that it is all worth it, and I have no doubt that is true.  

Give me Ice

I'm sorry it's been so long since I last posted it has been a long couple of weeks, I've been traveling.  The bigger I get the harder travel is, so the last few weeks have been both exhausting and a little painful.  Baby boy is getting so big my organs are getting squished, and the good news from the doctor is that I just have to deal with it. Fantastic.

I've hit the 30 week mark! Which means only 10 short weeks before we get to meet this little guy who we are so curious about! He is kicking up a storm and healthy and growing, so we are happy.

It seems to me that normal pregnant woman have cravings.  I haven't had any of those weird cravings you hear about but I do want one thing constantly: ice. Anything with ice is good; ice cream, milkshakes, slushies, cups of ice to chew, popsicles, drinks full of ice, etc. What's weird about this is I usually hate ice. I don't like it in my drinks (waters them down), I've never been able to chew ice (hurts my teeth), slushies give me brain freeze...so this is definitely a new development. And it's not because I'm hot - I'm still cold all the time, but I want ice, and I want it bad.

Slushies specifically are gold to me right now. I know for a fact I could down gallons of slushie every day if it was available to me and until a few weeks ago I wasn't too picky about the kind. But then Brett introduced me to the Wild Berry Lemonade slushie from Speedway gas stations. Three glorious days in a row I had 44 ounce Wild Berry Lemonade (WBL) slushies, it was wonderful. Then we got home from our trip and discovered that for whatever reason (I'm convinced it's a personal vendetta of some kind), the Mahoning Valley Speedways don't believe in Wild Berry Lemonade slushies.

In a desperate attempt to feed my addiction, since then I have tried many types of slushies from many places. There a few that are ok - but they in no way compare to the glory of Wild Berry Lemonade.  Sigh*

Now I wait for the day about once a week when my wonderful husband picks me up a WBL slushie on his way home from ball testing because there is a place out that way that has them, and I am ever so grateful for this amazing man.

Here is a picture of my belly as well as an almost finished WBL slushie - that was a good day:

Give me a minute to complain...

I am into my third trimester this week. Wow!! And I know it's glorious and amazing and a miracle to get to have a child and I truly believe all of those things but I want to complain for just a minute...if you don't want to hear pregnancy complaints don't read this post. Fair warning.

1) My liver hurts (well I think it's my liver)...like all the time. Is it just being squished? Is it growing too? What's happening there? I try to push it down out of my ribs and stretch to make it feel better but for the most part it feels uncomfortable. I don't like it. 

2) I now have heartburn, I knew it was coming. Everyone says it was coming and now here it is, burning it's way up my chest all the time. Don't eat large meals, don't eat things with lots of spice, eat slowly, don't eat fried stuff or caffeine or acidic foods...I get it, but you can't avoid everything. 

3) This may be TMI but it is my blog, so whatever...I have to pee constantly. CONSTANTLY. I can't sleep for more than two hours at a time. I always have to look for the restroom when I get somewhere. Road trips take forever. Plus it's costing a ton in TP. 

4) My motivation/energy level is super low, like all of the time. It makes me feel useless and guilty. Not much else to say on this topic. Just not how I'm used to functioning. 

5) I can't take hot baths or long or hot showers...which just in general is sad because sometimes you just want to relax but this winter has been COLD, like extra cold. And all I want to do sometimes is warm up but no can do. 

Ok, I'm done...I do love being pregnant and I am excited about what is coming, but being pregnant is not super easy and it is not fun all of the time. Someone needs to tell it like it is. 

Things I can no longer do...

In some ways it feels like I've been pregnant forever...those sick days back in October and November where I couldn't keep anything down, couldn't move and cried constantly seem so far away. But in other ways I can't believe how time is flying. I am 25 weeks already! At 27 weeks I'll be in my third trimester already.

Baby boy is so very active! This week I've felt like a scene out of "Alien." I feel him moving a little the rest of the day, but when I sit down for the night the real fun begins. I lay back and just watch my belly roll  like the kid is trying to get cozy in bed, flipping and flopping. When he kicks my whole tummy jumps and then it just moves consonantly.  I guess he's making up now for the time when he'll be too cramped to move. It's delightful and funny!

So my list of things I can't do anymore (or am having significant trouble with) is growing and growing, here are a few that are particularly frustrating: 

1) Put on my socks, shoes, boots, etc (I'm consider just wearing flip flops even though it's winter)

2) Shave my legs in the shower

3) Sit upright at a desk for more than a few minutes (or sit upright at all, I have to lean back to be comfortable)

4) Open doors without hitting the belly 

5) Zip my coat 

6) Reach high shelves in the kitchen

The thing is...I KNOW that this is only the beginning, it's going to get harder to do things. I'm going to get much bigger and what will I do then? I need to have a personal assistant, haha! I'm only kind of kidding. Brett is tremendously helpful, but since he travels for work there are weeks like this one where I have been very aware of how much he does...and I'm increasing grateful for him.  

Brian Williams raps

Jimmy Fallon put together this video making it seem like Brian Williams is rapping. I can't get enough of this video...so funny. I love all kinds of rap (old and new), I will definitely teach baby boy to be lover of all music types.

 

Monumental: New Nephew

Moments in life that are monumental:

7) Getting a new nephew

Once again I am blessed to share with you a new life that has come into ours.  My nephew Milo Theodore New was born Tuesday.  It is my brother's first child and he and my sister-in-law are in awe of this miracle. I too am once again amazed at how very quickly you can fall in love with someone. This beautiful little boy is going to be very loved! I am blessed to now have 4 wonderful nephews and 2 beautiful nieces. Here is a picture of me and my brother and Milo:

Baby and the Beatles

This week I have a severe lack of energy - Brett says it's because this is the time when duck baby is growing the most and fattening up (PS. I love that Brett keeps up with pregnancy blogs and info so he knows what's happening and can reassure me when I feel nervous). I do feel like my belly is getting bigger every single day now rather than so slowly, like it was at first.

So, last night we watched the Beatles 50th anniversary special and it was delightful (the Beatles are my favorite) and for the last song, Paul and Ringo sang "Hey Jude," my all-time favorite song.  So I stood by the TV so that baby boy can learn to love the Beatles even now and Brett got some pictures:

PS. So full disclosure: I used my belly to balance some food this afternoon - I'm not proud but there it is.

Pregnant sisters

I am now 23 weeks along, which is crazy to think about, and baby boy is moving around A TON! The other night Brett wanted to feel him moving and so he poked my tummy until the baby woke up. Baby boy proceeded to kick me hard for ten minutes, making my belly jump and then went back to sleep. It's such a fun and amazing thing to experience, I can't wait to meet this little guy who is so very active.

It's also a really fun experience to be pregnant with someone you know.  My brother and sister-in-law are expecting also. In fact they are due on Feb. 20th, so really it could be anytime! It's so fun to journey with someone on this path, and since she's a few months ahead, I am constantly aware of what is coming. This is us in January:

Belly progress and baby kicks

I am now at 21 week, over halfway! My morning sickness has GREATLY lessened and I'm sick much less often - still no cravings though and I still can't eat candy or drink Mt. Dew :(

My belly is growing slowly but surely (Dec. 19, Jan. 6 and Jan. 21 in order):

So, I was in bed a few days ago reading a book before bed and something amazing happened: I felt a weird fluttering, something that is absolutely different than gas or grumblings in the tummy. So I put  my book down and started talking to duck baby. When I stopped talking I felt it again, a kick or a punch (or something anyway) that is the first sign that is not on a computer screen, my baby is moving! You know me, I totally started crying.

I have to be paying attention for the most part because it's so subtle but it's definitely different than anything I've ever felt. It's coming more easily now and by the time Brett gets home from Detroit maybe he'll be able to feel it too.

This is such an amazing time and I feel blessed to be able to participate in such a miracle. God does an amazing thing when we are allowed to participate in creation.  

Duck Baby

Update: I am currently 17 weeks along and my baby bump is starting to look like a baby bump and not just a tummy with too many burgers in it! I'm not anywhere near as sick as I was the first three months but I am still constantly aware of feeling slightly off and my tummy is always a little queasy. I have not yet been able to feel him kicking or moving but I'm sure that's coming soon.   

Now on to the post: So  many times when people get pregnant I hear them call the baby cute little names: sweat pea, bean, speck, etc. I think this is because it's really hard to keep calling the baby "it" before you know the gender. I always wondered, how do you come up with a cute name? Do you just choose something? Because sometimes it sticks past when the baby is even born. I didn't realize this, but now it seems as though nicknames come naturally when you get pregnant.  

At our first sonogram appointment (I was then 6 weeks pregnant) this was the picture we got: 

After we left the doctor we kept giggling about how very much our baby looked like a duck floating along in there. The next few days Brett started asking me how "duck baby" was doing and it has just kind of stuck. Even though we now know that it is a boy, we still mostly call him "duck baby."  

So there you have it, in case you were wondering, this is why we call him "duck baby."