I get to be a mommy

Holding my baby boy and looking into his eyes, it would be easy to forget the pain of years of uncertainty, inability to get pregnant, a miscarriage, and general frustration. But it's important to me that I remember that pain. I need to remember that there are people out there who are still struggling, who are frustrated, who are heart broken. It's important to me that I recognize the amazing blessing it is just to be a mommy, because not everyone gets that chance.

Last week I had lunch with a friend and we talked about how not enough people talk about the negative/painful/frustrating side of child bearing, and it's so common.

Even within my small circle of friends there is a couple who lost a full term baby (complications during the birth), a couple who can't have kids, multiple miscarriages (in multiple couples) and a couple whose child has a chronic illness. And that's just several families. There are so many things that can go wrong at so many junctures just trying to bring a kid into this world. And once that kid is here, holy cow...there are so many more things that can happen, so many opportunities for heartbreak.

Here's my point...I get to be a mommy. What a rare blessing!

Sure, I puked at least once (and sometimes more) every day I was pregnant. I had major heartburn (no wonder - that baby was hairy). And I felt like a whale. But I get to be a mommy.

Yeah, the birthing process was rough, and there are body parts which are just never coming back from that. But I get to be a mommy.

I never get more than (at best) 5 hours of sleep in a row. I have been pooped on, peed on, and puked on numerous times. Judah drools like a champ, and while playing I often get spit on my arm, face, clothing, and occasionally in my mouth. My house is never as clean as I want it to be, my work is never as done as I want it to be, and I am never as put together as I would hope to be. I have scratches on my face, my neck, my arms and my chest from his tiny razor nails and I  have lost so much hair to those tiny hands...

BUT, I get to be a mommy. I get to be a mommy...

Maybe it's good that it took us so long to get pregnant...because I know what a rare blessing it is. Every single day I thank God for my Judah and for the time I get with him - no matter what that means. I get to be a mommy, I get to have this beautiful boy in my life. Thank you, God, what a blessing. I pray that I never forget what a gift this baby boy is. There are so many people who can't have children or who have lost children, and I get to be a mommy.