Monday, October 20, 2008

The Truth

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This touched my heart and I wanted to share it with you.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Women Pastors

My girlfriend Amanda shared with us today an article that in itself only made me slightly annoyed about women pastors on the cover of a gospel magazine, if you want to check it out:

http://www.ajc.com/living/content/living/stories/2008/09/18/gospel_magazine_pulled.html

What affected me about this was some of the comments that came after the article. I was reading them with my usual slight amusement and slight annoyance that people can be so close-minded when I came across an article from jessica which simply reads:

By Jessica
Oct 1, 2008 5:08 PM
It does not matter who you think is a bigot. It is not right to censor things like this magazine, but regardless women pastoring a church is contrary to Scripture. If you can prove otherwise, you obviously have a different Bible.

AND I AM A WOMAN SAYING THIS!


I began to cry immediately after finishing this short statement and started to hyperventilate because the pain in my heart was so intense. And these are not moments that I generally share with anyone, my personal struggles, but this one I felt was necessary to share.

As I lay there crying and thinking about how overwhelming the task of ministry is, especially when so many people don't even think you have a right to be there, I got very discouraged. I began to ask God, "What the hell? How can people be so close-minded? How can people think women are lesser humans?" (Sorry about the language, as I said I was very upset and truly I think God can handle these kind of deep hurt questions)

I think that when we are faithful to God, God is faithful to us. As I waited, I heard from God, and not in that out loud way, but in the deepest part of my soul I knew that it was God. And this is what was revealed to me from Luke 15:4-7.

4"What man among you, if he has a hundred sheep and has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open pasture and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? 5"When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6"And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost!' 7"I tell you that in the same way, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.

Ministry is overwhelming that is for certain, but what this tells me is that if one person is helped or loved or sees God because of me, than I have done my job. I can't change the world and I can't make people believe that I have a right to be in ministry because I have been called by God. What I can do is love people. I can educate people and speak the truth in love. And if one person listens, or cares, or feels love, than I can rest assured that I have fulfilled my call.

That is how I can get through today, and maybe tomorrow it will discourage me again that I am a woman in a career that isn't widely accepted as a woman's place, but I'll leave that for tomorrow. Today I will look for that little one that is lost.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Hmmm...

I was told that my blog didn't quite get across the point I was trying to make.

My point is that we are none of us on blogger as important as we might think we are, even if we do have a blog page about us.

That's all...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Blogging and more blogging

I've discovered that I love to blog. I have a lot to say and whether anyone reads it or not I'm going to say it. I have things I want to share. I need a place to release all of these things that go on in my head and blogger has created that space for me and for many others like me.

I think blogging must be a mild form of therapy. It is for me anyway. I assume that my life is much more interesting than it probably is and so I put it out here on the world wide web for all to see...though most people will pass it by with a non-committal glance.

I think we are all this way, assuming that we are much more interesting and important than we actually are, because for me the world does revolve around me. For you, the world revolves around you. Everyone else is simply playing a part in our own personal sitcoms. Some people have bigger roles and are permanent characters (like my family) but some people come into one episode and are never booked again. This is why blogging makes sense... because I think other people are interested in this show...the Shannon Show, because why wouldn't they be? I'm the main character after all. What a strange state of mind, but I think it's hard to imagine it otherwise because I'm always here and no-body else is.

So then blogging exists as therapy for our own peace of mind. Blogging says that I am important, there is place exclusively about me and now everyone can be a part. Even though deep down I know that this isn't true, it gives peace to my ego-maniacal mind.