Settling into our new life

We have been home for two weeks (I spent a lot of time in the hospital for some complications) and we are settling into our new life as a three-part family. It's not easy, but it's wonderful.

One of my dear friends told me this when I was feeling anxious about being a mom and having a kid a few months ago: "Your job, your one job the first few months: keep baby alive." She told me, "don't make yourself crazy...keep baby alive." I didn't realize how much I would need this bit of advice.

Everything seems overwhelming right now, and everything seems to be too much, and my emotions are crazy, and I don't know how I'm going to work as well as have a kid, and Judah wants to eat all the time, and I'm not getting enough sleep, and I don't know how to fix it when he cries...

And then I remind myself to calm down: keep baby alive. That I can do...he's fed, he's warm, he's loved. Baby is alive, so even if he's crying, it's probably ok. Even if I'm crying, it's probably ok. It is overwhelming, but it will be ok. I'm trying to remind myself of that, some days I have to remind myself more often.  

Keep baby alive, love baby, feed baby: this is my job right now, and it's full time. This is why it's imperative that people take time from work when they have a baby - it's not a vacation or a break (what a laugh), it's necessary. And I'm doing it, of course with the help of my amazing husband Brett. So really, we're doing it, and we're settling into our roles.

I mostly am just a source of food right now, I have trouble even comforting Judah because he can smell that I'm the momma. But I love that time we get together, I pray for him or sing to him or read books to him, sometimes I just talk to him. It's something I already know I'm going to miss, I treasure every minute of it.

Sometimes in the middle of the night Judah doesn't want to go back to sleep after he eats, so Brett gets his time with baby - he says he loves that time because that's his time with Judah. Brett takes Judah into the nursery to rock him and let me get some sleep.

Today I introduced Judah to the greatness that is the Beatles. He loved it (of course), we danced and I sang to him with John, Paul, George and Ringo in the background for half an hour until he was lulled into a beautiful Beatles induced slumber. Train up a child, right?

So...we're figuring out how to take turns, who does what, and how to live in this new life.  I honestly don't know how people do this without support. I feel so blessed with an amazing husband and an amazing family.

Here is a glimpse into the cuteness that I get to experience: the bond of daddy and son.