I get to be a mommy

Holding my baby boy and looking into his eyes, it would be easy to forget the pain of years of uncertainty, inability to get pregnant, a miscarriage, and general frustration. But it's important to me that I remember that pain. I need to remember that there are people out there who are still struggling, who are frustrated, who are heart broken. It's important to me that I recognize the amazing blessing it is just to be a mommy, because not everyone gets that chance.

Last week I had lunch with a friend and we talked about how not enough people talk about the negative/painful/frustrating side of child bearing, and it's so common.

Even within my small circle of friends there is a couple who lost a full term baby (complications during the birth), a couple who can't have kids, multiple miscarriages (in multiple couples) and a couple whose child has a chronic illness. And that's just several families. There are so many things that can go wrong at so many junctures just trying to bring a kid into this world. And once that kid is here, holy cow...there are so many more things that can happen, so many opportunities for heartbreak.

Here's my point...I get to be a mommy. What a rare blessing!

Sure, I puked at least once (and sometimes more) every day I was pregnant. I had major heartburn (no wonder - that baby was hairy). And I felt like a whale. But I get to be a mommy.

Yeah, the birthing process was rough, and there are body parts which are just never coming back from that. But I get to be a mommy.

I never get more than (at best) 5 hours of sleep in a row. I have been pooped on, peed on, and puked on numerous times. Judah drools like a champ, and while playing I often get spit on my arm, face, clothing, and occasionally in my mouth. My house is never as clean as I want it to be, my work is never as done as I want it to be, and I am never as put together as I would hope to be. I have scratches on my face, my neck, my arms and my chest from his tiny razor nails and I  have lost so much hair to those tiny hands...

BUT, I get to be a mommy. I get to be a mommy...

Maybe it's good that it took us so long to get pregnant...because I know what a rare blessing it is. Every single day I thank God for my Judah and for the time I get with him - no matter what that means. I get to be a mommy, I get to have this beautiful boy in my life. Thank you, God, what a blessing. I pray that I never forget what a gift this baby boy is. There are so many people who can't have children or who have lost children, and I get to be a mommy.

Travel Dreams

I've been thinking a lot lately about the places I would love to see at some point in my life. This list is in no way complete, but it's a start:

1) India - it's always been a dream. I was signed up for a Tri-S (student) trip at AU and it got cancelled due to instability:

 

2) Ireland - The beauty of the hills, the fact that there is a river with my name, the fun accents, the castles:

3) Egypt - to see the pyramids:

4) Greece - for the significance of the religious history:

5) France - because I studied French/France in high school and at that point I wanted to see the country we studied:

6) Germany - for the history and the castles:

 

7) China - for the Great Wall amongst other things:



8) And of course I would love to go back to Israel...

This is a short list.  If I had the money - I'm pretty sure I'd just travel the world.  Every place is unique and beautiful in it's own way. 

Travel Log: San Francisco

I love to travel. In January, I had the opporunity to fly out to California and spend a few days with Brett in San Francisco. What an amazing time!! We hit all the major San Francisco tourist spots as well as a few lessor known gems. Here's a brief look at our trip:

The city view(from Alcatraz):


The Golden Gate bridge, large and beautiful:

Alcatraz Island:

"Be sure to wear flowers in your hair":

A trolly car ride:


Lombard Street:

We also got to see the Cable Car Museum, Pier 39, the Jelly Belly Factory, the Mission Dolores (where San Fran started), the museum of Art, Twin Peaks, Fort Point, Mt. Diablo state park and so much more! San Francisco is truly a beautiful place, I would love to live there.

The beauty of the mountains

As always, I am struck by the beauty that this world holds. We sit comfortably at home and forget to go out and look around, and what is out there is beautiful, each in their own way.

I have driven the mountains of West Virginia, through the burrows and hollers, each with their own secrets and unique people sitting on their porches watching the world go by. I have seen mountains in England, gentle rolling hills covered in green and making you think of roaming sheep and barefoot feet. I have driven past the mountains in Utah, covered in cattle and seen for hours before they finally disappear behind you, slipping into the horizon like the sun. I have climbed the mountains of Israel, stark and hot, burning your feet and telling you the stories of centuries of believers. I have watched the fog of the Smokey mountains, covering everything in it's secret beauty, making you feel as though you must be in heaven. I have watched the sun set over the mountains of Mexico, mountains that sing until you finally understand the phrase "purple mountains majesty." And now, I have watched the mountains of Arizona, beautiful, color changing and rigid, jutting out of the ground towards the heaven.

What a beautiful world we live in. I am so blessed.